Episode Three - The Curse of Ham.

[RADIO static as channels change]

[Blessed Hour Theme]

DJ MIKE

Up next is the Blessed Hour, with me, DJ Mike. Don’t go anywhere.

[ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL plays on CHURCH ORGAN]

CALWELL

Please be seated.

CALWELL (Cont)

Today’s reading comes from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 9 verses 20 through 27.

And it came to pass after the flood that Noah planted a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay in his nakedness inside his tent.

And lo, Ham, the father of Canaan saw his father thus and rushed to tell his two brothers, “Behold our father lies naked and drunk in his tent.”

However, Ham’s two brothers Shem and Japheth took a garment, and then they walked in backward into their father’s tent to cover his nakedness.

When Noah awoke from his drunkenness and found what Ham had done, he said

“Cursed be Ham, father of Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he forever be to his brothers.”

Then Noah said:

“Praise the Lord, who blessed Shem. May the children of Ham be the slaves of Shem.

“May the Lord extend Japheth’s lands, and may he live in peace with Shem. May the children of Ham be the slaves of Japheth!”

Thanks be to God.

CALWELL (cont.)

The Bible tells us that Noah lived in a time when God saw the great wickedness of humanity and regretted his creation. And so he called to Noah that he should build and ark to take two of every creature.

And after the flood, God made a covenant with Noah. Now what is a covenant?

A covenant is an agreement. A contract! God promised Noah and his descendants, and the whole world that he would never again destroy the world with a great flood.

But whenever there is a contract, as many of you know, whenever there is a contract between two people, each of them agrees to do something. In exchange for following his laws, God promised Noah that his children would populate the Earth.

But then, in chapter 9, we see as Shakespeare once said, “how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!” Because Ham, one of the few chosen by God to make the new world, thought little of exploiting his father’s nakedness for his own amusement.

CALWELL (Cont)

And so we have Noah punishing his son Ham! For the rest of eternity, the children of Ham would be the slaves of his brothers.

        But now I can hear you asking, what bearing does this have today? Because today, we have no slaves! Not in America!

        But I tell you that in each of our hearts, we are enslaved by our own base nature and petty desires. And the good Lord, seeing our iniquity, has sent a reminder to us all not to be like Ham!

        God has marked those who have fallen and-

[Sounds fades and DJ MIKE speaks]

DJ MIKE

You’re listening to the Blessed Hour. You just heard an excerpt from the Reverend Terry Calwell’s sermon earlier today, and he’s here with me in the studio to talk about his sermon, and answer your questions. Reverend Calwell, it’s great to have you here. Welcome back to the show.

CALWELL

Thank you, Mike. It’s great to be here.

DJ MIKE

Now this is some strong stuff, but regular listeners aren’t surprised.

CALWELL

That’s right Mike. I know it might alienate a lot of your newer listeners. But I heard God’s voice telling me to speak because the world needs a dose of the truth.

DJ MIKE

So you’re saying that this … phenomenon of people suddenly turning into black people is …?

CALWELL

A clear warning from God! We know from scripture that Noah cursed the children of Ham to be the slaves of his brothers. And we know that curse came to pass during the era of the African slave trade.

DJ MIKE

Indeed we do.

CALWELL

We often forget this about God, but he is a jealous God. It is only through his son, Jesus Christ that we are saved.

DJ MIKE

Some would say that these are very strong claims, Reverend.

CALWELL

It’s what’s described in the scripture. I’m only the messenger here, Mike. I can’t change the word of God. I can’t explain the mysterious ways in which he works! All I can do is be thankful, and eternally praise his mighty name.

DJ MIKE

Well, let’s take some calls. Hi, this is the Blessed Hour and you’re on the air.

CALLER 1

Hi Mike. I want to say two things. First, I’m a long-time listener, first time caller and I’m a big fan of what you’re doing. It’s getting harder and harder these days with the fake news media to find truly godly people who aren’t afraid of speaking the truth.

DJ MIKE

Thank you caller.

CALLER 1

The other thing is, I agree one hundred percent with Reverend Calwell. I’m black myself, and it’s obvious that this, you said phenomenon-

DJ MIKE

Yes, they’re calling it … Dark Friday, or something like that, I think.

CALLER 1

Whatever they’re calling it. I think it’s God’s will. And I think America needs to wake up, and return to God!

DJ MIKE

Thanks for your call.

(beat)

You’re on the air, caller.

CALLER 2

I … I have a question for Reverend Calwell.

DJ MIKE

What’s on your mind?

Now, when you say that God is reminding us of the Curse of Ham, what does this say about … I don’t know how to say it rightly.

(beat)

Regular black folk?

CALWELL

Thanks for the question caller. Look, in scripture it’s clear that the children of Ham - this includes people of African descent - were doomed to be the slaves of the children of Shem and Japheth.

        Now the children of Shem are the Semitic peoples - you know, Arabs and Jews. The children of Japheth are the Aryan peoples - Europeans, Persians, you know.

But we’ve also got to be careful. If we read scripture closely, the original Aramaic often switches between slave and servant. So it’s not literal slavery in the way we interpret it today.

Though if we look in our society today, we see how black people have been held back by the Curse of Ham. I don’t need to tell you about the prisons I visit, or unwed mothers I pray for, or the gang violence in the inner cities. All of this is the result  of the Curse of Ham.

But all is not lost because, as we know, with Jesus Christ our chains are broken. That is why when Africans were brought here and saved, they found freedom in a few generations!

DJ MIKE

You're on the air caller.

CALLER 3

Yes, I just want to say I think the dear Reverend is just wrong on this front.

DJ MIKE

Why do you say that?

CALLER 3

The Children of Ham aren't the blacks. It's Indians, feathers not dot. After the flood, the Indians came here and because they lived in sin, the Europeans - that is, the children of Japheth - conquered them. Did you know that there are Christians in Africa? How can they be the children of Ham?

DJ MIKE

What do you think of that theory Reverend?

CALLWELL

(chuckles)

Well, I can't say that I think it's supported by scripture.

DJ MIKE

To be fair to the caller, there were Christians in Africa for a long time. Longer than in some parts of Europe.

CALLWELL

That's very true. In Ethiopia in fact. And you know the only African country that managed to resist colonialism? Ethiopia!

DJ MIKE

That's very true Reverend.

CALLWELL

All of this is to say that with Christian salvation, you can overcome anything, including the Curse of Ham. I mean, you know who tried to conquer Ethiopia? It was the Etrurians! And don't get me started on the paganism of the Etrurian Catholic Church.

DJ MIKE

Caller, you're on the air.

(Silence)

DJ MIKE

Caller, are you there?

CALLER 4

I'm here.

DJ MIKE

Did you have a question or comment for the Reverend?

CALLER 4

Thanks for taking my call. Yeah, my question is what if the beloved Reverend over there changes too?

CALLWELL

Changes how?

CALLER 4

You're saying that this … phenomenon affects the wicked. But since all of us are sinners, we are all fair game, right?

CALLWELL

… yes we are all sinners but-

CALLER 4

And you saw that tennis player at Westsylvania State? Was she wicked? She did win the tournament.

CALLWELL

Yes, well, I only mean that scriptre tells us that the Curse of Ham affected Ham's descendants. I wasn't saying anything about any one particular individual. As you’ll recall, I said that the salvation Jesus offers breaks all our chains.

DJ MIKE

Thanks for the call. And you're listening to the Blessed Hour. We'll be right back after these messages.

SAILOR (VO):

I’m Stefan Sailor, and I approve this message.

[DRAMATIC THEME]

SAILOR (Cont)

Our country is in peril. President Hensley chooses to do nothing as the Black Friday phenomenon ravages the land.  

She vetoed money that would be spent on serious scientific research into the so-called Black Friday phenomenon. We’ve all had enough of the dysfunction in Washington.

[Uplifting instrumental]

I won’t rest until we solve this grave issue. Once elected, I’ll sign the Harris Act and stop President Hensley’s unprincipled assault on separation of powers and our American heritage.

What’s more, I’ll go even further. Once I’m President, I’d propose an additional ten billion dollar reparations fund to help those affected by Black Friday. Especially those who suffered unfairly simply because of the color of their skin.

Let’s make sure President Hensley only gets one term.

PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT STEFAN SAILOR.

(Blessed Hour Theme)

DJ MIKE

We're back with the Reverend Terry Calwell. Let's take some more calls.  

DJ MIKE (Cont)

You're on the air.

CALLER 4

It's me again. Hi.

DJ MIKE

Hi caller … this is unusual.

CALLER 4

I wasn't finished. I asked the Reverend what he would do if the phenomenon affected him. He didn't answer.

CALWELL

I'll answer that. Great question caller. The answer is, I will accept what the good Lord has designed for me. Because I trust not in my own understanding, but I rely on the Almighty in all things.

DJ MIKE

Thanks for your call.

(beat)

You're on the air.

CALLER 4

You won't get rid of me that easily.

DJ MIKE

Reverend, listeners, I apologize for this but-

CALWELL

It's okay Mike.

CALLER 4

I only have one last question.

DJ MIKE

What’s your question, caller?

CALLER 4

What if it turns out that we can reverse the phenomenon?

CALWELL

Like I said earlier, caller. Trust not in your own understanding for the Lord works in mysterious ways. And I’m gonna pray for you tonight so that the Lord may lead your steps into the light. If you like, leave your number with the producer and I’ll be in touch.

DJ MIKE

Thank you, again, caller.

CALWELL

That was an interesting conversation.

DJ MIKE

Indeed it was, Reverend. I do want to apologize for that last caller. Usually our screeners manage to catch repeat callers.

CALWELL

It's all right Mike. I always enjoy my time here.

CALWELL (cont).

You know, Not a lot of people know that Christianity in Ethiopia can trace its origins to the fourth century AD.

DJ MIKE

Fascinating, Reverend.

CALWELL

It is. And you can compare something like Ethiopia to Haiti. Did you know, Mike, that to ensure the success of their slave revolt, the black Haitians used voodoo to make a pact with the Devil?

DJ MIKE

I hadn’t heard that, Reverend.

CALWELL

It’s an unfortunate fact, and the reason why Haiti struggles so much in this day and age.

DJ MIKE

Very true, Reverend. We should all take heed because scripture warns us about taking the easy road.

CALWELL

More than anything Mike, I want people to remember that scripture fundamentally talks about hope and salvation. That’s the message I want to leave with the listeners out there. It’s never too late to accept Christ into your heart.

DJ MIKE

And with that, I'm sorry that our time together has to end. Tune in next Sunday night, same time, same channel. Reverend Calwell, always a pleasure.

CALWELL

Likewise Mike, take care.

[RADIO static]

(cut to a televangelist named PAT ROBERTSON on a different Earth shortly after a devastating earthquake)

ROBERTSON

And you know something happened a long time ago in Haiti. And the people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Uhh, you know Napoleon the Third or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’ True story.

And so the Devil said, ‘Okay it’s a deal.’

And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other; desperately poor.

That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle. On one side is Haiti on the other is the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island.

They need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy I’m optimistic something good may come. But right now we’re helping the suffering people and the suffering is unimag-

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