Episode 6 -
TRAYNOR
Remember kids!
Bears get fed.
Bulls get fed.
Hogs get slaughtered.
[BLACK FRIDAY intro]
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[MAD MOOLAH theme]
TRAYNOR
Yo what’s up! This is Mad Moolah! The show about Wall Street, investing, and making your money run with the bulls!
[Bull LOWS]
TRAYNOR (cont)
I’m your host - the mad mullah of Mad Moolah - Kim Traynor!
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Today we’re featuring Cadmus Pharmaceuticals. You probably know them from their hit heart disease drug Arresta that is just now getting out of patent. The word is that Cadmus has just gotten FDA approval for their newest drug. Take a look.
[OVERDRAMATIC lead-in sound effect]
CUT to TENEBRA ad
JAMIE
Hi, my name is Jamie. I was affected by the Black Friday phenomenon.
(beat)
I was … scared. I didn’t really know what to do or where to turn. That’s when my doctor suggested Tenebra.
NARRATOR
Tenebra [Ten-eh-bra] is a new medication specifically designed to halt and reverse the effects of the Black Friday phenomenon. It targets the specific genes that activate, and returns them to normal.
[music swells]
NARRATOR (cont)
Talk to your doctor before taking Tenebra. Do not take Tenebra if you are nursing, are pregnant, are about to become pregnant, have or been diagnosed with liver disease, kidney disease, or myopic albinitis. Side effects include increased confidence, insomnia, dry mouth a sense that the world owes you success and recognition, and hair loss.
JAMIE
You don’t have to live with a label anymore. Thanks to Tenebra, I could go back to living my life with my friends, my family, and the people who love me.
NARRATOR
Tenebra is a registered trademark of Cadmus Pharmaceuticals.
CUT to TRAYNOR
TRAYNOR (cont)
The market is eating this up with futures pointing sky high.
[ALL ABOARD sound effect]
If you didn’t own a piece of Cadmus before now, you’d better get on board before the sales figures before the next quarter makes Cadmus the first pharmaceutical company to be worth over a trillion dollars!
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TRAYNOR (cont)
Now I have the CEO of Cadmus, John Cambyses on the program later on to tell us more about Tenebra, but before that let’s take some of your calls. You’re on Mad Moolah!
CALLER 1
Yo what’s up Kim!
TRAYNOR
Hey, how’s it goin’ man!
CALLER 1
Yo, it’s cool. I’m just super skeptical about the sale rate for something like this. Tenebris? Tenebra, oh I’m sorry. The Black Friday phenomenon hasn’t affected more than 10,000 people.
TRAYNOR
I don’t want to give too much away, but I think Cambyses is going to make you feel better about those sales projections later on, okay?
CALLER 1
Sounds good man! Love the show!
TRAYNOR
Thanks man! Woo! Man I’m PUMPED.
(beat as TRAYNOR’s caffeine wears off)
Let’s take a break, we’ll be right back.
[MAD MOOLAH theme]
TRAYNOR
And we’re back with Mad Moolah. I’m here with founder and CEO of Cadmus Pharmaceuticals, Mr. John Cambyses. Welcome to Mad Moolah!
CAMBYSES
Thanks for having me on.
TRAYNOR
Now, Tenebra is going to be out soon. Can you tell us more about it?
CAMBYSES
Well, after the Harris Act came into effect, the federal government came to us and asked us to look into the Black Friday phenomenon. The first thing we had to do was find an analog in nature of spontaneous melanism-
TRAYNOR
Wait, that’s a long word. Spontaneous what?
CAMBYSES
Spontaneous melanism. Or spontaneous melanization. It’s when an organism suddenly, and unexpectedly, produces a large amount of melanin.
TRAYNOR
Uh huh.
CAMBYSES
It turns out that melanism is something that’s really common in the animal world. At one extreme we have albinism-
TRAYNOR
Like albinos.
CAMBYSES
Yes, and on the other hand we have melanism. For example, black panthers are just regular panthers whose melanism has gone into overdrive.
TRAYNOR
What did you do next?
CAMBYSES
Well, we tried to identify the genes in animals that affect melanism. In mice we identified one gene that seems to be very important - it’s called M.C. one R (Mc1r).
TRAYNOR
Sounds like a wedding DJ’s name.
CAMBYSES
(laughs)
Exactly what we thought. We found out that if we fiddle with this gene, we can control the melanin produced in several mammals, and some reptiles.
TRAYNOR
I’m with you so far.
CAMBYSES
To make a long story short Kim, we found that same Mc1r gene in humans. We tested folks who have been affected by the Black Friday phenomenon and we figured out that the gene was randomly activated very recently.
TRAYNOR
So tell me how Tenebra works.
CAMBYSES
It’s simple really. Tenebra is something called a gene drive. Basically, you take three pills over three days. Inside the pill is a little virus with a copy of the Mc1r gene, except this one is deactivated. The virus enters your DNA, snips out the old version of the gene, replaces it with the new one, and that gene replicates. Over time - typically within three days - the activated melanism gene gets outnumbered by the deactivated one and - presto! Back to normal.
TRAYNOR
And this is safe?
CAMBYSES
Tenebra is one of the safest drugs ever made. Plus, it’s touching 0.0000001 percent of your DNA.
TRAYNOR
And, conservatively, how many people have been affected by the Black Friday phenomenon?
CAMBYSES
As of right now, about ten thousand. But that number rises pretty predictably. In about five years, that number will be about 50,000. Maybe up to 75,000. But we forget that the Black Friday phenomenon is not restricted to the United States. The number could reach in the millions by the end of the decade.
TRAYNOR
It looks like you’ll be doing brisk business with Tenebra.
CAMBYSES
We’re just glad to be able to produce something that brings people a semblance of normalcy again.
TRAYNOR
Rumor has it that the federal government, and other governments around the world, are interested in Tenebra. Does this have anything to do with the appropriations in the Harris Act?
CAMBYSES
When we develop a drug, we first ask ourselves, “What benefit will the world derive from this drug?” Cadmus is lucky to have some of the brightest minds. Part of our responsibility as a company is making sure that profits never override our duty to helping people, and the world.
TRAYNOR
And it does look like you’re doing good work with Tenebra. I think we’re all wishing you the best of luck.
CAMBYSES
Thanks Kim
TRAYNOR
Mr. John Cambyses, thank you for being here.
(beat)
Time to take another break. Keep running with the bulls! You’re watching Mad Moolah!
[Bull LOWS effect]
[MAD MOOLAH theme]
TRAYNOR:
This podcast edition of Mad Moolah is brought to you with limited commercial interruption by Cadmus Pharmaceuticals - Cadmus - planting the seeds for a bright future.
[MAD MOOLAH theme]
TRAYNOR
Welcome back to Mad Moolah! The show that teaches you how to milk the market for the best returns!
[Bull LOWS sound effect]
We just had Cadmus founder and CEO John Cambyses on about his company’s new drug, Tenebra.
Now Tenebra promises to reverse the effects of the Black Friday phenomenon, but according to one of my next guests, the drug doesn’t actually solve the heart of the problem. Here with me to discuss the ethical ramifications of this new drug are Professor Harry S. Tottel of the University of Adowa, and Professor P.R. Mendes of the University of Stoa.
TOTTEL
Thank you for having us.
TRAYNOR
So which one of you thinks that this drug is a bad idea?
MENDES
None of think it is a bad idea, we just have a unique difference of opinion in what it does, and what it represents.
TRAYNOR
Oh? Is that so Professor Tottel?
TOTTEL
Indeed.
TRAYNOR
Please feel free to say more about that.
TOTTEL
It all came about when we were discussing the change precipitated by the Black Friday phenomenon.
MENDES
And I began by objecting to characterizing the phenomenon as a “change.” I hold that there is in fact no change in the person; nothing changes except how they are perceived by others.
TOTTEL
While I hold that the person is fundamentally changed by the phenomenon.
TRAYNOR
So if I’m getting this right Dr. Mendes, you believe that people should not take the drug?
MENDES
Let’s back up for a moment and set the table. I think we can all agree that the Black Friday phenomenon has caused a fair bit of anxiety in our society.
TOTTEL and TRAYNOR
True
MENDES
Now, does that anxiety come from the phenomenon itself? Or is it from people’s reactions to the phenomenon? From where I sit, the anxiety individuals feel comes from how society perceives them. It is empirically true that people of color are at a disadvantage in many Western societies. If someone hasn’t had a lifetime of working against those disadvantages, having them suddenly thrust upon you is naturally stressful. However, the solution doesn’t lie in reversing the phenomenon - because those stressors still exist in broader society.
TRAYNOR
Dr. Tottel, is there anything you disagree with?
TOTTEL
Certainly people of color are at a disadvantage in American society - in Western society in general. However, why should individuals have to carry that burden of disadvantage if they do not have to? Once they know what those stressors are like, they are in a better position to empathize with people of color once they reverse the phenomenon’s effects.
TRAYNOR
To put a fine point to it - Dr. Mendes, you believe individuals and society will be better off by embracing the change, while Dr. Tottel believes that individuals and society will be better off by reversing the change.
MENDES
I would go further. I would say that, fundamentally, the phenomenon does not change anything about a person. The individual remains exactly as they are - only the color of their skin changes. And that change, pardon the trite expression, is only skin deep.
TOTTEL
I find it hard to think of the change as only skin deep though. We have seen that changing an individual’s skin color affects their life outcomes significantly. The very first person ever affected by this phenomenon that we know of is now dead. Without the change, and I argue it is indeed a significant change, Kevin Fields would still be alive.
TRAYNOR
Dr. Mendes, we just heard the CEO of Cadmus say that Tenebra works at the genetic level. This sounds like a significant feat of scientific know-how. If someone is changed at the genetic level, how can you say it’s not fundamentally changing the individual?
MENDES
Kim, at a genetic level humans are completely indistinguishable. We are 99 percent similar to chimpanzees. Certainly Tenebra is a marvel of genetic engineering, but it affects one mutation among trillions. It is like adding a grain of salt to the ocean.
Which is part of the reason I think Tenebra sends the wrong message. This drug effectively tells everyone that altering your genetic code is a viable solution to the problems you will encounter if the phenomenon affects you. But in reality, you have not fundamentally changed anything about yourself, or your society.
TOTTEL
I disagree - at least for individuals who were not born into disadvantaged groups, Tenebra simply returns the individual to the status quo ante. Ideally, the individual has learned some lessons about empathy and inequality that they will apply going forward. I believe individuals should be free to make their own choices on whether taking Tenebra is right for them.
TRAYNOR
This has been the most intellectually nuanced debate I have ever had on my show! Dr. Tottel and Dr. Mendes, thank you for being here.
TOTTEL and MENDES
Thank you, Kim.